[Last updated June 26, 2025]

Three men, one of them an older adult, sit at a table drinking coffee and having a discussion.
Talking about finances can be a sensitive subject, but if you’ve noticed a change in your aging parent’s mobility, independence, or cognitive function, it may be time to begin discussing senior care options and how to pay for senior care. If you and your family are in this situation or think you may be soon, here are a few tips for having the conversation and figuring out how to pay for senior care. Photo Credit: iStock.com/recep-bg

Planning for your parent’s care involves navigating the often stressful discussion of financing it. In some families, this topic can create tension and lead to arguments. In others, the discussion may flow easily. Wherever your family falls, the issue of how to pay for senior care and who will pay for it must be addressed. This article will offer guidance on how to have this discussion with your family so your parent can receive the support and care they need.

Who to include in the conversation

When the time comes to discuss your parent’s senior care and how to pay for it, it’s essential to include the right people in the conversation. These individuals might have an emotional investment in your parent’s well-being, be able to contribute financially, or hold legal authority to make decisions. If your parent is able to participate in the conversation, then it is crucial to include them as well.

By bringing together a supportive team, you can ensure that the right people contribute to the conversation and that you make the best decisions regarding your parent’s care. To identify who should be involved, consider these key categories:

Immediate family members:

  • Your siblings.
  • Your parent’s siblings.
  • Your spouse.
  • Your parent’s spouse.
  • Your children.

Extended family and close friends:

  • Close relatives such as cousins.
  • Family members who have expressed interest in your parent’s well-being.
  • Close family friends who feel like family.

People with a financial or emotional investment in your parent’s care:

  • Anyone who currently financially supports or contributes to your parent’s care.
  • Anyone who has offered or has the ability to contribute financially on some level.

Legal and medical decision-makers:

  • Does anyone have power of attorney or other legal responsibilities? 
  • If not, who might be interested in doing so?

By considering these perspectives, you can bring the right voices to the table and help ensure that your parent receives the thoughtful, well-supported care they deserve.

Planning the discussion

Now that you’ve decided who to involve, taking the time to plan the discussion about paying for your parent’s senior care helps ensure it is productive, inclusive, and supportive of your parent’s needs. Here are some key areas to consider.

Choosing how to hold the meeting

Deciding how to conduct the meeting is an important first step. In-person meetings create a more personal connection and may feel more comfortable for your parent. These face-to-face discussions allow for a more natural flow of conversation and can take place in a familiar setting.

If some participants cannot attend an in-person meeting, a video chat or a telephone call may allow them to join in the discussion. This option works well for those who live out of the area or are working during the scheduled conversation.

Scheduling the meeting

Coordinating availability among participants can be challenging. These tips can help simplify the process:

  • Use a single communication method (email, text chain, messaging app).
  • Ask participants for their availability over the next month.
  • Offer a video option for those unable to attend in person.
  • Narrow options down to three possible times and send a group message to choose the best one.
  • Send out a reminder to everyone prior to the meeting.

With thoughtful planning, you set the stage for a successful and collaborative conversation about your parent’s care, ensuring their well-being is prioritized.

Important information to discuss

As you work with the family to create a plan to pay for your parent’s senior care, addressing key topics can ensure that their needs are met and that you work together to make important decisions. Be sure to discuss the following topics.

Determining the appropriate level of care

Begin by exploring the various options for the support your parent needs. 

  • Can your parent remain at home with in-home support?
  • Would a senior living community provide a more suitable environment?
  • What are your parent’s preferences?

Discuss the various types of care available for your parent.

Determining costs

Understanding the costs of care is essential for discussing and creating a suitable plan.

Gather pricing information for the determined level of care:

  • Review any previously obtained information on costs.
  • Create a plan to research and learn about any unknown costs.
  • Assign necessary pricing research to appropriate family members.

Assess financial resources:

  • Explore your parent’s savings and assets.
  • Determine if family members can and will contribute to the cost of senior care.

Identify any financial gaps:

  • Is there a gap between available funds and care expenses?
  • Can the care plan be adjusted while still meeting your parent’s needs?
  • Are there items in the budget that can be reduced or eliminated?

Explore other payment options:

Information to gather before the meeting

Now that you’ve determined the people to involve, the setting, and the key topics to discuss, you should gather certain information to have on hand during the conversation. Preparing in advance for the discussion about paying for your parent’s senior care can help make the conversation more productive, organized, and supportive. By collecting important information ahead of time, you and your family can make more thoughtful and comprehensive decisions. Be sure to gather the following information.

Financial documentation

Having a clear understanding of your parent’s current expenses and financial resources will help you plan effectively. By assessing their current expenses, you can explore how to adjust the budget to include in-home care or compare it to the costs of living in a senior community. You can also identify expenses that you can eliminate or decrease, such as cable, dining out, or shopping.

Financial information to gather includes:

  • Savings.
  • Assets.
  • Pensions or retirement income.
  • Investment accounts.
  • Social Security benefits.
  • Insurance policies.
  • Veterans benefits.
  • Medicaid benefits.

Care options and costs

To create a plan for paying for senior care for your parent, you’ll need a clear picture of the costs. By exploring care options and their costs, you can align decisions with your parent’s needs and financial situation.

Potential costs to research:

  • Rates for in-home care.
  • Costs for adult day care.
  • Costs for senior living communities in the area by care level (independent living, assisted living, memory care, or skilled nursing care).

Create a list of necessary legal documents, and ensure that everything is accessible, up to date, and in order. Documents to gather include:

  • Banking information.
  • Documentation on assets such as pensions, retirement accounts, stocks, investments, etc.
  • Wills.
  • Trusts.
  • Necessary VA paperwork.
  • Financial advisor or planner information.

Planning as a family to pay for your parent’s senior care

A planned and inclusive discussion on paying for your parent’s senior care can help your family make informed decisions that prioritize your parent’s well-being. Through thoughtful planning and open communication, you not only address your parent’s needs but also can strengthen the family bonds. Embracing this opportunity to work together as a team and supporting the best interests of your parent, you can create a positive and nurturing experience for everyone involved.