As a family member of a senior newly diagnosed with hearing loss, you may wonder how you can help them cope. Every person’s experience with hearing loss is unique, and they face different challenges in adjusting to their situation. Below we discuss how you can help your loved one with coping emotionally with their hearing loss diagnosis, adjusting to using hearing aids, and learning new communication strategies.
Know common emotions about a hearing loss diagnosis
A hearing loss diagnosis causes a significant shift in a person’s life. Here are some of the common emotions people may experience when learning of their hearing loss and how you can help your loved one.
Initial denial of hearing loss
Commonly, people develop hearing problems slowly over several years as damage to the ear accumulates. Therefore, people acclimate to their hearing status and adjust their lifestyle by gradually withdrawing from challenging situations. They might not recognize that they have problems with their hearing, and a diagnosis of hearing loss may be met initially with denial.
- What doesn’t work: Arguing with a loved one in denial likely will not help.
- Instead: Try discussing difficulties that you notice they are having. You may want to wait until you’re no longer in the situation, as pointing it out in the moment can cause embarrassment and defensiveness. If you notice that they did not talk much during a group outing to a restaurant, for example, you might bring it up the next day. Be ready to table the discussion if they don’t seem open to talking about it.
Grief
People who recognize that they do have a hearing problem may react to the diagnosis with grief. They grieve the loss of hearing that they cannot get back by natural means. Although hearing aids and cochlear implants help, they do not cure hearing loss.
- What doesn’t work: Dismissing their emotions can alienate them further.
- Instead: Listen to them talk over their feelings about their hearing loss diagnosis when they’re ready. Validate their feelings without trying to offer solutions. Over time, they will be able to accept their situation and be ready to adjust to the new normal.
Frustration and anger
Other common emotions when adjusting to a hearing loss diagnosis can include frustration and anger. Your loved one may become frustrated when people do not seem to understand their difficulties, such as when others forget to face them when speaking so your loved one can read their lips. They may feel frustrated or dejected when someone says “never mind” when your loved one asks them to repeat what they have said.
Your loved one may also experience other situations that can lead to frustration, such as getting tired easily because listening in difficult situations requires so much more effort. They may also fear how their diminishing hearing will affect their social lives and career opportunities.
- What doesn’t work: Losing your patience with their feelings will only make things worse. Try not to meet frustration with frustration.
- Instead: Lead with compassion. Try offering a quiet moment in their times of frustration and allow them to calm themselves. You may want to help by providing solutions, but giving them a moment first will help defuse a situation.
Encourage your loved one to practice coping skills that reduce stress, such as meditation, exercise, and outdoor activities. If your loved one is really struggling, you might encourage them to spend a few sessions with a therapist or find a hearing loss support group.
Assist your loved one in getting used to their hearing aids
If your loved one’s hearing loss diagnosis comes with a recommendation for hearing aids, it may some time to get used to them. It is important that your loved one and their family and friends have realistic expectations. Do not expect that they will instantly hear perfectly with their new devices.
Give your loved one time to acclimate
Your loved one should wear their new devices as much as possible to learn how to hear well with them, but it is okay if they get tired and need breaks. Respect their need for breaks and encourage them to try again later. If you can, go to their first fitting appointment to learn about ways you can help.
Offer to learn about the hearing aids and accessories with them
You can help your loved one navigate the use of their new hearing aids. If you’re attending their fitting appointment, take a picture of how the hearing aid should look in the ear. Often the biggest challenge with new hearing aids is learning how to insert them correctly, and you can let your senior know if the insertion is not right.
You can also help them with any hearing aid accessories and technology they might use, such as cell phone apps and other devices like television streamers and remote microphones. Help them learn how to use their accessories, and encourage them to persist in using them to make the most of their devices. You can also help your loved one research and purchase other devices that they might need such as vibrating alarm clocks and flashing doorbell signalers.
Support your loved one with communication strategies
It will be important for your senior as well as their family members and friends learn about communication strategies for people with hearing loss. Learn about the importance of good lighting for lipreading, and reduce background noise where possible. When you need to repeat yourself, try rephrasing what you said. Don’t shout or exaggerate. Let your loved one know if you change the topic of the conversation.
While it’s important to support your loved one with compassion, avoid becoming your loved one’s ear. For example, don’t automatically repeat for them what everyone else says at the table in a restaurant. Instead, encourage them to think back to communication strategies they have learned from their audiologist and support groups.
Helping your loved one with a new hearing loss diagnosis
Although a hearing loss diagnosis can come with an adjustment period for your loved one, you can support them during this transitional period. By showing them compassion, giving them time, and helping them with technology and hearing strategies, they can acclimate to their hearing loss and stay connected to their friends and family.
