Making sure senior loved ones with dementia are safe, healthy, and well taken care of is a high priority when managing memory issues. When it becomes increasingly difficult for your loved one to take care of their personal needs, in-home memory care can allow them to happily and safely remain in their own home.
When you’ve decided to hire an in-home care provider, your loved one will be the customer or client, but you will be intimately involved in arranging and managing the process. This role is important and also complex, so we’re outlining how you can manage your senior loved one’s in-home memory care. Whether you need to navigate the provider hiring process, manage the care the company provides, or communicate questions or issues to your loved one’s caregiver, we’ve got tips for you.
Setting up an in-home memory care plan for your loved one
You’ll need to set up a care plan for your loved one, but you don’t need to do this alone. You might not know exactly what your loved one needs, and that’s OK. When you speak with a potential in-home memory care provider, they should learn enough about your loved one and the home situation to recommend how they can help you.
Before meeting with the potential providers, think about some of the following:
- Are there household, cognitive, or personal care tasks that your loved one has difficulty doing independently?
- Has your loved one mentioned specific tasks or activities they can’t do anymore or feel uncomfortable doing on their own?
- What tasks do you currently help your loved one with?
Make a list of the answers to these questions. The more specific information you can offer, the better. In-home care can be as simple as a few hours per week or as extensive as 24/7 care. Establishing a complete picture of your loved one’s limitations is necessary to ensuring they have sufficient care.
Assessing your loved one’s needs
The in-home memory care provider will begin their assessment by talking with you and your loved one in their home. They will ask questions about specific tasks they commonly provide for their clients. They will also observe the home and may notice things that indicate a need they can provide help with.
Common care tasks include assistance with activities of daily living (ADLs): eating, bathing, toileting, dressing, and other personal hygiene and grooming tasks. Other duties may include medication reminders, driving to medical and other appointments, shopping, meal preparation, laundry, light housework, and even pet care.
Your confidence in the care provider is critical, as is your loved one’s comfort level. As you go through the assessment process, ask yourself:
- Is the care provider engaged and focused on your loved one?
- Have they asked good questions and learned about specific needs?
- Are they listening carefully to what you and your loved one are expressing?
- Have they accurately evaluated your loved one’s situation and explained how they can help?
- Are they attentive to your loved one’s demeanor and openness to their help, and have they responded appropriately?
- Has the provider specified what tasks they can and can’t help your loved one with? For example, there is a difference between medication administration and offering medication reminders: The caregiver is likely not permitted to administer medications, but they may be able to remind your loved one that it’s time to take them. The provider should be upfront with what they can and can’t help with so you can determine if your loved one will get the proper assistance.
If you have concerns or something doesn’t feel like a good fit with a care provider, don’t hesitate to talk to others until you find one you feel confident in.
Developing a personalized in-home memory care plan
After the assessment, the in-home memory care provider will create a care plan specifically for your loved one. The plan will itemize each task and indicate how each will be completed and how often. They should provide you with a copy for your input and approval. A care plan is one of the ways in which you evaluate a care provider’s performance.
You can ensure the care plan aligns with your loved one’s needs by confirming that:
- Any medical conditions or restrictions are specifically addressed.
- Daily needs such as meals, medications, and hygiene are listed and scheduled correctly.
- Your loved one verifies they are getting the support they need and seems relaxed and at ease with the care provider.
Monitoring the quality of care
When visiting, you can see whether tasks are being completed appropriately. Observe your loved one’s demeanor after the care provider has been there. If they can give reliable answers, ask how it’s going and whether specific things were accomplished, like showering or eating enough.
You or another family member or trusted friend may occasionally pop in during a care shift so you can observe for a while.
If you don’t live nearby and are providing long-distance care, you may need to enlist someone you trust to be your eyes and ears. If that isn’t possible, careful attention and honest and trusting communication with the care provider will be crucial.
Communicating with the in-home memory care provider
Regular communication with your loved one and their care provider will help you ensure that all is going well. Just as you should feel comfortable contacting the care provider, make sure they feel free to contact you promptly with any concerns.
How to establish clear communication channels
You and the care provider will arrange how best to share information and feedback. Let them know what updates you want and how often you want them. Would you prefer them to check in with you, or will you contact them?
Larger care agencies may use online portals or apps on which care providers and family members can send updates, upload documents, and schedule visits. Ask them to share a care log or status report providing you with details about each shift. Smaller companies or individual care providers may not have a set procedure, so you will need to agree together on how you communicate.
It is important for you and the care provider to have each other’s email addresses and phone numbers. For immediate concerns, phone calls and text messages are most efficient. You’ll feel more comfortable knowing you will be alerted as soon as necessary.
How to address concerns or changes in care
Your loved one’s needs will evolve over time. Your care provider may notice changes and contact you to discuss how you wish to adjust the care plan or share their recommendations. You may also notice things you’ll need to share with the care provider.
When you have concerns about your loved one’s shifting needs or the care they are receiving, it’s important to discuss them with the care provider as soon as possible:
- Be honest and direct. State exactly what your concerns are in simple language. Be polite, but don’t try to spare someone’s feelings if you feel your loved one’s care is at risk.
- Give specifics. Describe what you have observed or are concerned about. Provide examples of specific situations to avoid misunderstandings.
- Focus on your loved one’s care. Explain how you feel their well-being is affected. Emphasize that their care is your primary concern.
- State what changes you want. If you feel the care plan needs to change, state clearly what you would like added or adjusted and how you want it to be implemented.
- Listen carefully. The care provider will have input about needed changes or how they will correct or fine-tune their routine. Make sure they understand whether you agree or disagree with their assessment.
Recognizing signs it might be time for a change
At some point, you may find things aren’t working out like you hoped with an in-home memory care provider. Some red flags are:
- The care provider isn’t arriving on time, leaves early, or doesn’t show up.
- Items on the care plan are ignored with no explanation.
- Your loved one complains, seems unhappy or agitated, or dreads the care provider’s visits.
- The care provider becomes less communicative or displays an unpleasant attitude.
If you observe anything that feels off, have a frank conversation as quickly as possible so that it can be addressed and corrected.
If your concerns aren’t resolved, don’t hesitate to terminate the relationship and find another care provider who you feel confident will take your loved one’s care as seriously as you do.
Having an in-home memory care provider on your loved one’s care team can be a great help to both your loved one and you. With planning and communication, you can feel confident they are being looked after and their needs are being met when you can’t be there.
