An adult child’s role in their parent-child relationship often shifts from caregiver to advocate when a parent moves to a nursing home. The focus moves from providing hands-on care to supporting and advocating for their loved one to maximize the parent’s comfort and care. Though it sounds like less responsibility, advocating for a parent in a nursing home can be equal parts time-consuming, stressful, fulfilling, and important. In this article, we provide helpful information and tips that can help family advocates best support a parent in a nursing home.
Nursing home environments can be unfamiliar territory for new residents and their families. There are multiple professionals with different specialties on the care team with whom you’ll interact. There are statewide regulations, facility expectations, and variations in the staff members who will care for your parent depending on the shift. Everyone involved, including the staff, the resident, and their family, wants to create the optimal care plan that maximizes the resident’s comfort and quality of life. Let’s explore our top five tips family members can utilize to be the best advocate possible for their parents in a nursing home.
Understand your parent’s care plan
The first step in advocating for your parent in a nursing home is to know the details of your parent’s care plan, which the nursing home creates after the resident moves in. Once you know what care your parent will receive as a facility resident, you will have realistic expectations and a tangible document that you, your parent, and the facility can refer to during conversation.
Talk with the nursing home staff about the care provided in your loved one’s care plan, including services for managing activities of daily living and instrumental activities of daily living and how frequently they’ll receive these services. Discuss if there are any scenarios that might keep your parent from receiving a service. For example, if your parent takes medications that the facility nurses administer, what happens if your parent refuses medication? What are some scenarios that would prevent your parent from receiving scheduled bathing?
Understanding the nursing home’s ability to provide for future care needs is also important. Ask about how frequently your parent’s care plan will be reevaluated and any events that might trigger an early reevaluation, such as a fall or a downturn in cognitive function.
Talk with the nursing home administrator about community guidelines and resident rights. Ask questions about how they ensure that residents receive care and services and how the process works when concerns arise. Understanding these processes will give you peace of mind and help you identify when something may have been overlooked.
Request regular meetings with your parent’s care team
Meeting with the care team regularly is a key way to maintain open lines of communication. These meetings should include a nursing supervisor and one of the nursing assistants frequently providing care to your loved one. It may also include a member of the activity team or the community social worker. Set regular meetings to stay connected with the professionals caring for your loved one. If it’s possible to visit the facility for the meeting, in-person discussions can foster a warmer relationship. Phone calls or video conference meetings work well if in-person meetings aren’t an option.
At these meetings, discuss any concerns you or your parent may have. Ask the team to describe any changes they have noticed in your loved one, whether positive or concerning. Ask about any goals the team may want to set for your parent. For example, they may suggest that your parent join some planned activities to establish friendships with other residents. The director of therapy might also set a physical or occupational therapy goal to support your parents’ functional movements. You can end the meeting with action steps if needed.
Your parent’s care team is trained to care for residents and support their physical, emotional, and cognitive well-being. They’re also well-versed in family meetings, so they will likely review your parent’s status. You don’t need to enter the meeting ready to lead it, but it’s also important that you come prepared with what you’d like to get out of it. Do you want to know how your parent has adjusted to the new environment? Are you hoping to learn how they’re handling a change to the care plan? You can leave with tangible details if you have tangible questions.
Visit and talk regularly with your parent
It may seem simple, but a crucial part of advocating for your loved one is visiting and talking with them regularly. This will help you to notice changes in your parent’s demeanor or physical appearance. If you have concerns about their care when you’re not around, visiting at different times or days of the week can help determine if the quality of care changes at other times.
Document the situation with all available information if you notice anything that concerns you. You might consider bringing a notebook and pen or using a note-taking app on your phone to jot down details you want to remember. If things escalate to the point where you need to speak with a facility team member, the facility owner, or even a long-term care ombudsman or elder law attorney, they will want to understand the history and have proof of your concerns.
Get to know the nursing home staff
It’s important that you trust the individuals providing care to your loved one, and the best way to do this is by getting to know them. Introduce yourself to the nursing assistants, dining assistants, and programming staff, as these individuals will frequently interact with your loved one. Becoming familiar with the staff can also put you at ease, knowing that your parent is being cared for by an array of dedicated, knowledgeable individuals.
Share information about your parent’s preferences that may not be captured in a care plan, such as favorite songs, shows, hobbies, or what they did for work. Establishing a relationship with the staff will help you and your loved one feel more comfortable asking questions, making requests, and expressing concerns.
Know when to get help for your parent
If you feel your loved one’s care needs are not being met, it’s important to make your concern known. If talking with the nursing team and nursing home administrator does not result in a positive change, consider escalating your concern to a long-term care ombudsman. A long-term care ombudsman is a person who advocates for the rights of residents of senior living facilities. You also might consider enlisting the help of an elder law attorney if you feel your parent is the victim of nursing home neglect or even elder abuse.
When you have a parent in a nursing home, your role as caregiver shifts to focus on providing comfort and support while advocating on your loved one’s behalf. By understanding your loved one’s care plan, building relationships with the staff, and visiting regularly with your parent, you can feel confident as an advocate in your loved one’s care.
