Caring for a parent with memory loss is a significant challenge for several reasons. Most memory loss is due to some form of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, both of which are progressive. Just when you have a structure and a stable care plan, your parent might worsen and change, requiring a pivot to a new plan. If you are just starting to help a parent with memory loss, various strategies and plans can provide a foundation for now and for accommodating future changes. While each person’s memory loss will manifest differently, these tips for helping a parent with memory loss can guide you in planning to improve their safety and well-being.
Give your parent memory aids
Memory aids are simple reminders of important things for your parent, such as schedules and phone numbers. The memory aids you use will depend on your parent’s level of cognitive impairment. If their memory loss is mild and they have some technological ability, setting phone reminders is a great way to keep track of such things as bills, medication schedules, and appointments. If using devices is too complicated for your loved one, consider sticky notes, a bulletin board, a whiteboard, and written lists.
Help your parent create a daily routine
Routine provides a sense of security for people with memory loss. For example, the same bedtime each night can improve sleep and reduce the risk of sundowning, a phenomenon during which people with dementia experience heightened confusion and agitation later in the day. People with memory loss also often have appetite difficulties. Maintain regular mealtimes, but if your parent is hungry outside those times, allow them to eat. If disruption of routine is unavoidable, reassure them that things will return to normal.
Create a medication management plan or get help
Medication management for people with memory loss can be challenging and even dangerous if doses are missed, doubled, or misused. Ensure you know your parent’s current medications, and track any changes. Keep a master list. You can take some of the worry out of managing medications by using a medication dispenser or med box or by hiring a nurse to set up the medications, if possible. A home care provider might also be helpful, as they can give your parent medication reminders.
Focus on clear communication
Simple, concise communication is most effective for someone with memory loss. Speak slowly and in small chunks to improve comprehension. Talking with someone with memory loss can be frustrating since they often repeat themselves. Stay calm and understanding of your parent. It can be helpful to try a distracting activity if communicating is challenging in the moment.
Ensure your parent’s home is safe
Home safety is a good place to start because managing your parent’s care will be difficult without a safe living environment. There are numerous safety measures you can take. Keep in mind that as your parent’s memory loss progresses, you may need to make further adjustments to their home. Here are some essential home safety tips:
- •Reduce the risk of falls. Falls are a serious concern for older adults, especially those with dementia. You can’t prevent falls entirely, but you can reduce the risk by removing throw rugs, clearing clutter, and arranging furniture so there are clear pathways. Add adequate lighting to all areas of the home. Poor eyesight and hearing impairment are both linked to an increase in falls. Make sure your loved one has their eyesight and hearing checked yearly.
- •Use technology to ensure your parent’s safety. A medical alert system is essential in case of a fall, medical event, or wandering. Choose one with fall detection and GPS. Also, consider installing a bed alarm to alert you or a caregiver when your parent gets out of bed at night.
- •Install handrails and grab bars. Install handrails outside and inside the home and along interior stairways. The bathroom should have grab bars near the toilet and in the shower. Consider purchasing a shower chair and a handheld showerhead. Consult with an occupational therapist or a Certified Aging-in-Place Specialist (CAPS) for a home evaluation and recommendations.
- •Assess kitchen safety. Consider installing automatic shutoff switches for the stove, and supervise your parent in the kitchen when possible. Lock away any hazardous cleaning items. If necessary, put locks on cabinets and drawers.
- •Secure doors and windows. If your parent wanders, securing the home is essential to prevent getting lost. There are numerous door and window locks to choose from that can keep your parent safe.
Have activities ready
Physical and mental activity can improve mood, reduce agitation, and provide a sense of purpose. Activity selection depends on what your loved one can do, but here are some activity suggestions to get you started:
- •Puzzles.
- •Folding laundry.
- •Sorting silverware.
- •Looking through photo albums.
- •Listening to music.
- •Crafts.
- •Walking.
- •Stretching.
- •Gardening.
You might also consider adult day care, which can give you some respite and provide your loved one with a stimulating environment of activities and socializing.
Support your parent’s physical and emotional well-being
Supporting the well-being of someone with memory loss is not that different from supporting anyone else’s. Emotional and physical support for someone with memory loss can include:
- •Scheduling regular medical checkups for your parent and adjusting their medications as needed.
- •Ensuring your parent receives sound nutrition. Eating a wholesome and balanced diet can help them maintain their physical health, which is critical for older adults. If they are picky about the foods they like, you can try adding tasty nutritional supplement drinks that provide essential vitamins and minerals.
- •Keeping your loved one active with exercise.
- •Maintaining social interaction as tolerated by your parent, especially with family.
- •Keeping an empathetic and supportive attitude.
- •Involving your loved one in daily decisions when possible.
Consider getting memory care services
Despite all of your efforts to help a parent with memory loss, there may come a time when it isn’t feasible to keep them at home due to safety, care concerns, or the expense of professional help. Recognizing the signs that it is time for memory care can help you make the difficult but sometimes necessary decision to place your parent in memory care.
Coping with your parent’s memory loss
Coping with memory loss is hard on your loved one and you. Periods of stability can be brief and may become less frequent as the disease progresses. Safety is your top priority, but once you have these helpful strategies in place, you can focus on your parent’s health, well-being, and emotional support. Reach out to others for help, and use community resources to give yourself a break and keep your loved one engaged and cared for.
