When your mom, dad, or other loved one moves to assisted living, you’ll want to find ways to connect and maintain your relationship with them in this environment, whether they moved in last week, last month, or five years ago. Getting creative with your next visit, phone call, or video chat can help them feel loved and appreciated. Here are a few ideas to help you connect with mom or dad and brighten your interactions.
Start a new hobby together
Experiences create connections; whether you pick up pickleball with your teenage son or start watching Marvel movies with your best friend, you bond over a shared experience. During your next visit or phone call with your loved one, start a new hobby together so that your time together is more than just a catch-up session and becomes a shared experience.
Here are a few ideas:
- •For the word lover, consider doing Wordle, Connections, or any of the free games the New York Times offers. Depending on your loved one’s abilities, you might create a text thread to share your results or wait to play a few games together during your next in-person visit or phone or video call. The ongoing conversation will help both of you feel connected to one another.
- •Create your own book club. Decide what genre you’d like to try (novels, biographies, poetry, short stories) and purchase a book (or borrow from the local library for free) for both of you. You can read separately and then discuss it during your visits or read aloud during your time together. Reading aloud can be especially helpful when visiting and connecting with someone living with cognitive decline.
- •Listen to a podcast. Podcasts are excellent options for shared experiences, as you can listen easily, no matter where you are. Pick a few interesting podcasts to both of you and talk about the latest episode, or listen to an episode together when you’re visiting.
- •Get crafty. Bring a few vases and bundles of flowers and ribbons to your next visit. Spend time arranging them to put around your loved one’s room. Send flowers and vases to them for a video chat option and work on the project together from your phone, computer, or tablet.
Return to snail mail
Getting mail is exciting, no matter your age. Even better, letter writing is creatively engaging, which makes becoming pen pals a win-win situation. Kick off your pen pal campaign by purchasing pretty stationery, envelopes, stamps, and writing utensils for you and your loved one. Then, mark on your calendar to write to your loved one for 30 minutes once per week. You’ll find that you look forward to it, and they will love receiving your weekly notes. If they are able and interested, they can also reply to you.
Writing letters is a great option for intergenerational connections. Try involving your children or younger family members by having them write to a grandparent once a week as a part of their routine. It doesn’t have to be a long note to be meaningful — it can be a simple card with a quick recap of their week.
Create a connection calendar
Having a special event to look forward to can do wonders for happiness. Why not make one day a week extra special for your loved one? Enlist the help of family members and friends to create a connection calendar, where someone in the family signs up to call or visit your loved one on a designated day of the week. Long-distance relatives or friends can also easily participate in a video call visit. For example, your family connection day might be Sunday. That way, your loved one knows they can look forward to a call or visit from a loved one on Sundays.
Create a shared Google calendar so family members can easily sign up for days throughout the year, and everyone can ensure your loved one always has a special visitor to look forward to.
Attend family events
Most assisted living communities host special events for family members to attend. If you are local or in town for a few days, consider attending one of these special events with your loved one. You’ll create memories with your loved one and learn more about the residents they spend time with.
If you can’t attend an event planned specifically for family, that’s okay! Most assisted living communities welcome family members to events hosted at the community. For example, if you’re visiting during a planned community happy hour, head down with your loved one to enjoy refreshments and entertainment.
Send a little gift
You don’t have to spend money to show your loved one you are thinking about them, but it can be a fun idea to incorporate. Consider sending a collection of cards from loved ones to hang up in their apartment, a box of their favorite teas or candy, or even a bouquet of flowers. These are easy ways to add extra joy to their home and day. Be sure you follow up with a visit or phone call to see how they display their cards or flowers or how they are enjoying their care package.
Get creative with your visits and phone calls this year as you find new ways to share experiences and create connections with your loved one in assisted living. You will both benefit from something a little different from what you’ve done in the past. Feel free to try these ideas, pass them along to other family members, or use them as a jumping-off point to create new traditions. Here’s to finding new ways to connect with your mom, dad, or other loved one and ensuring they feel the love no matter if you live a few blocks away or across the country.
