The holidays are a special time of the year full of traditions, memories, and loved ones coming together. However, they can also be challenging, especially when things are different from how they used to be, such as if a loved one has recently moved to assisted living or another senior living community. How do you make celebrating the holidays a time of warmth and joy after such a significant change? Here, we’re highlighting various tips to help you do just that.
Adjust your expectations
The most crucial aspect of celebrating the holidays isn’t where you go or what you do but the connections between people. To start, you should adjust your expectations. Recognize that the energy level, activities, location, food, drinks, and even people present may be different this year.
Celebrations with seniors who live in assisted living often need to be simpler and shorter than they once were, as aging can decrease energy and physical capacity. In addition, your loved one may be unable to get to the holiday celebration’s usual location, so you may need to change it. They may have new dietary restrictions, so familiar holiday food items and drinks may be absent from this year’s celebration.
Adjusting expectations helps everyone avoid disappointment. Doing so early allows you to come to terms with the change and make appropriate plans, allowing you to be fully present on the day.
Choose the most appropriate location
One of the biggest decisions to make when celebrating the holidays with a loved one living in assisted living is where to celebrate. Will you have a small celebration with your loved one at the facility or take them somewhere? Here, it’s crucial to consider the best place for the senior, not simply to choose the same location as in previous years.
The senior’s physical limitations may play a role in this decision. Can they get around easily, at least for a short while? Are they likely to get drained in the process? There’s little benefit to taking them out if doing so is simply going to be stressful and exhausting. If this is the case, bringing the celebration to them in the assisted living facility may be best.
If you do take them out, where will you go? What best meets their needs? This is something to consider carefully. For example, some seniors may struggle with a crowded, noisy restaurant but feel comfortable in a family member’s home. You may have to ensure they have a comfortable place to sit during the celebration so they don’t have to stand or walk around a lot. Also ensure that they can climb stairs if needed and navigate any other hazards.
If the celebration is taking place far from the assisted living facility, you’ll need to do extra planning to keep the senior safe and comfortable. Traveling may be difficult, but depending on your loved one’s situation, it may be possible. Consider the method of travel, and check out our articles on tips for traveling with seniors by car or airplane. Be sure to factor in how long you will be away and how to provide the care they need while not in the assisted living facility.
Celebrating in an assisted living facility comes with its own set of questions and challenges. Before you start planning, you’ll need to talk to staff about visiting hours, how you can decorate, whether there’s a space to celebrate, and any other considerations.
If you’re celebrating in the assisted living facility and bringing food, you should check the facility’s rules regarding outside food and drink. You may also want to consider bringing enough for roommates or staff to spread some holiday spirit and encourage engagement with others at the facility.
Prioritize your loved one’s wishes for celebrating the holidays
In many ways, this year’s celebration is more about your loved one than others. They may no longer get out for fun events or see family as often as they once did, so it’s important to consider their needs and wishes to make the event special and enjoyable.
Talk to your loved one. Ask them about their favorite traditions and hopes for the holidays. What aspects of previous celebrations mean the most to them? For example, some people may long for specific foods, while others might be more interested in location or gift-giving. You may not be able to meet your loved one’s every wish, but you can still tailor the celebration to suit their preferences.
Perhaps your loved one is interested in decorating their room for the holiday season to make the weeks and days leading up to the day more special. Your family can bring an assortment of decorations, including items with a significant meaning, such as handmade decorations from relatives or familiar decorations from the past. Keep in mind, though, that items sometimes go missing in senior living facilities, so bring only things that you’re OK with losing.
On the day itself, allow them to participate in the way that best suits them. They may be actively engaged in every aspect of the celebration or simply want to sit and watch instead. Their energy might also fade faster than expected. If so, you may need to stop the celebration early to let them rest or bring them back to their apartment if you’re away from the facility.
Plan ahead
These holidays will likely require more planning than usual. How can you make sure your loved one is safe while still enjoying the occasion? What will make them most comfortable?
Start by thinking about the senior’s health needs and limitations. If the senior has mobility limitations and you’re celebrating away from the facility, you’ll have to remember to bring along any mobility aids they use and make sure they have assistance with getting around when needed. If the senior has incontinence and you plan to leave the facility, you’ll need incontinence products and spare clothes, plus a strategy for minimizing embarrassment.
Be sure to factor in dietary considerations. If your loved one has diabetes and the celebration involves special treats, for instance, they’ll need to be more closely monitored in case their blood glucose levels rise. Also think about whether they have any trouble eating certain foods. You may have to cut their food into smaller pieces or provide alternative versions of favorites they can safely eat.
Backup plans matter, too. This way, there can still be some type of celebration, no matter what happens. If a larger party is overwhelming or unfeasible, the celebration could be as simple as listening to holiday music or looking through a photo album. Make plans for how to include your loved one if things don’t work out as planned.
Remember to coordinate with assisted living staff, as they know your loved one’s needs and can help you make the experience much smoother, whether it takes place in the facility or somewhere else.
Think about who will attend
It may be tempting to have a large celebration, as the holidays are such a family affair. However, too many people may overwhelm and distress the senior. You may need to keep the celebrations small, focusing just on the immediate family and perhaps one or two close friends.
Alternatively, consider spacing events out with multiple small celebrations instead of a single large one. These events could be spread out over the holiday season, allowing everyone to connect without placing too much pressure on the senior.
If your loved one has made new friends at the facility, you may want to ask staff to identify which residents could be invited to join.
Choose appropriate activities for celebrating the holidays
The activities you choose matter as well. Look for ones that match the senior’s physical and cognitive abilities, and focus on those that allow family members to connect.
Crafts can be a good option. You might consider making holiday cards, scrapbooking, or painting. Holiday-themed board games and puzzles can be enjoyable, too, or you might go with something simpler, like watching a holiday movie or singing holiday songs.
It’s important to talk with your loved one about activities. What are their favorite activities? Which ones would be realistic for the planned event? Remember, the emphasis should be on quality time. The specific activities don’t matter as much as simply being there together.
Think about appropriate gifts
If you are giving gifts to your loved one, think about what’s appropriate. Consider the senior’s physical and cognitive abilities. For example, a senior experiencing cognitive decline might not appreciate a challenging puzzle book, while someone with arthritis may struggle with certain crafts.
Also be cautious about bulky items, plants, food, and any gifts that require physical activity. While some may be appropriate, others can be frustrating or even dangerous in an assisted living environment.
Instead, think about personal gifts that match the senior’s interests. Sensory items like soft blankets, hand cream, and music or family-focused items like photo albums are often appreciated. They may also love gifts to keep them entertained, like games or crafts. Anything that makes the place feel more like home is wonderful, too. Be sure to double-check with the facility, as there may be rules about some types of gifts.
Create meaningful memories while celebrating the holidays
In the end, celebrating the holidays isn’t about the place, activities, or presents. It simply comes down to spending quality time with the people you love, which can be done regardless of where they’re living. You simply need to spend a little more time in the planning stages to make sure everything works well. Be realistic with your expectations. This will help you enjoy the holidays, no matter what they look like.
